When you become a parent, sometimes you get a whole new perspective on things. For example, childhood. I experienced my own childhood, but seeing it through the eyes of a mom, I realize how fleeting it is. Jude is only temporarily mine. My job is to raise him to be a strong and independent person and to go out in the world on his own. I never thought much about that, as I grew up and left my family to start my own. But, now I realize how strange this whole agreement it; we bring children into the world and we don’t get to keep them; they become their own people. I don’t want to negate the connection of family, and I hope that we give Jude the kind of love that he can carry with him where ever he goes. But it’s just so different than the beginning of this process, when they are physically connected to you all the time. Bittersweet when you think about it.
So, every night (if we stick our routine) I read Jude three books of his choosing. Tonight I read him the book, Where Do Balloons Go? An Uplifting Mystery by Jamie Lee Curtis. It’s a really cute book imagining what happens to balloons that are released. When I got to the end of the book, I thought it perfectly summed up how I feel about parenting. So I will leave you with Jamie Lee’s words…
Does it float there forever
remembering me?
And know that I’m happy
that it’s floating free?
Where do balloons go?
It’s a mystery, I know.
So just hold on tight
till you have to
let go.
